Gift Ideas- More Funny Tee Shirts from What on Earth Catalog

This is my 4^th offering of funny tee shirt slogans.  Reading them reminds me of spending hours with my cousin Joanne reading cards in the Hallmark store.  Just like cards, there is something for just about everyone available written on a tee shirt.  Enjoy these amusing tee shirts, which could make the perfect Christmas or Birthday gift for someone you know. 

TEE SHIRTS INSPIRED BY TV AND MOVIES

Inconceivable!  (Princess Bride)

Vandelay Industries- Importers/Exporters of Latex Goods (Seinfeld)

AAUGH!  (Charlie Brown graphic)

Don’t make me get the flying monkeys!  (Wizard of Oz)

Pete’s Schweddy Balls No one can resist my balls (SNL)

TEE SHIRTS FOR WIVES, MOMS AND OTHER FABULOUS WOMEN

The Queen is Not Amused

I have seen the future & I’m going back to bed

This is my Sexy Lingerie. 

Sarcasm, Just one more service I offer

Instant Human.  Just add Coffee. 

I’m not bossy, I just know what you should be doing

I’ve stopped listening.  Why haven’t you stopped talking?

I have no idea what I am doing out of bed

Everything I say is fully substantiated by my own opinion. 

If I’m Talking You Should Be Taking Notes

Yet despite the look on my face, you’re still talking. 

I’m not bossy, you just can’t take direction. 

Laughter is still the best medicine, right behind antibiotics

What I really need are minions. 

Come to the dark side.  We have cookies (goblin with plate of cookies)

Careful, or you’ll end up in my novel. 

This is me pretending you’re normal. 

DANGER:  200 Words Per Minute With Gusts Up To 300! 

TEE SHIRTS FOR HUSBANDS, DADS, COUCH POTATOES AND OTHER LOVEABLES

I’m Sick Of Being My Wife’s Arm Candy. 

Dad’s Beer (hoodie with center pocket for beer bottle)

Behold Fartacus

Just be happy I’m not a twin

You Probably Don’t Recognize Me Without My Cape

Here I Come To Save The Day! 

Struggling Hair Farmer

I’m not procrastinating until tomorrow. 

Unapologetic Flatulater

Some days, it’s not even worth chewing through the restraints. 

Just another Poo flingin’day in the jungle

I like poetry, long walks on the beach, and poking dead things with a stick. 

Cereal Killer

Patience is a virtue but flipping someone off feels better. 

DANGER:  Mouth operates faster than brain. 

I spill things

Easily distracted by shiny objects

As a matter of fact, I did sleep in these clothes

I didn’t do it!

Yes, I know I need a Haircut

What part of MOOOOOHAAHAHAHA Don’t you understand? 

Heavily medicated for your safety

Some dress for success.  I dress for recess. 

The decline of western civilization leaves me strangely unmoved. 

Here I Am now what are your other two wishes?

Why try to improve on perfection? 

MORE TEE SHIRTS INSPIRED BY TV AND MOVIES

Plato?  Aristotle?  Socrates?  Morons!  (Princess Bride Characters)

Ni!  We want a Shrubbery (Monty Python)

Legalize Shemp (Three Stooges) 

It is what it is (Snoopy on doghouse)

TEE SHIRTS FOR FAMILY HUMOR

Who Needs a Therapist?  I have my Sister!

Don’t listen to my sister- I am the favorite

Mom likes Me best.

World’s Coolest Uncle

It’s a Twin Thing.  You wouldn’t understand. 

I’m The Crazy Aunt Everybody Warned You About

Grandmas Rock!

A BIG HUG for Grandma!

My Sister has the best Sister in the world!

If you met my family, you’d understand! 

ALL BOB TEE SHIRTS

I’m Bob.  Deal with it. 

Bob’s Wife

Bob The Man, The Myth, The Legend

My Indian Name is Runs With Bob

I’m Bob.  Any questions? 

The beatings will continue until Bob gets his way. 

Whatever you do, don’t piss off Bob. 

Of course I’m right.  I’m Bob. 

What you see is what you get with Bob. 

Smart, good looking & Bob.  It doesn’t get any better than this. 

Bob’s Babe

I’d rather be with Bob

Question authority, but do not question Bob

It’s a tough job being Bob, but someone has to do it

S.O.B.  Sweet Old Bob

Try not to be jealous.  We Can’t All Be Bob. 

TEE SHIRTS FOR SPORTSMEN AND SPORTS LOVERS

Cycle the World (abstract figure cycling)

Run the World (abstract figure running)

Drive the World (abstract figure golfing)

I’m Not Speeding.  I’m Qualifying.  (Checkered flag down sleeve)

Football It’s Who I Am It’s What I Do

Baseball It’s Who I Am It’s What I Do

Basketball It’s Who I Am It’s What I Do

Hockey It’s Who I Am It’s What I Do

This is what I Look Like when I Call in Sick (hunter aiming rifle) 

Yo Fish, Bite Me

On A Clear Night, I Can Hear The Fish Laughing

Fish the World (abstract figure casting)

I Came, I Cast, I Kicked Bass. 

TEE SHIRTS FOR MATURE ADULTS

I’m Retired.  Go Around Me. 

So far this is the oldest I’ve ever been. 

I’m Retired, You’re Not- Nah-nah-nah-nah-nah…

I Can’t Hear You, Old Age Has Some Benefits. 

Old Guys Rule (John Wayne with rifle)

Thanks To Medical Science I’ll Outlive My Retirement Fund

OMG I’m Old

I’m not aging, I’m fermenting. 

Generation Rx

MORE INTERESTING AND FUNNY TEE SHIRTS

Where’s my stinking bailout? 

National Sarcasm Society- Like we need your support. 

No one ever suspects the short ones

Everyone is born right handed.  Only the gifted overcome it. 

To err is human, To forgive divine.  Neither is Marine Corp policy. 

I’m Tall, You’re Not…Nah, Nah, Nah, Nah, Nah!

You Are Stupid (Chinese lettering)

I’m a bad ass.  You’re just an ass. 

Doesn’t expecting the unexpected make the unexpected the expected? 

[White tee with drawn collar, tie and pocket protector]

Some People Have A Way With Words, Others Not Have Way.

God Bless the USPS (“o” is mailbox)

My Bologna has a middle name.  It’s [specify name]

Paddle Faster!  I hear banjo music.

Intelligent Design an oxymoron of biblical proportions

I believe in making sacrifices.  Can I start with you? 

Sometimes I wonder, “Why is that Frisbee getting bigger?”  …and then it hits me. 

To err is human.  To Arrrr is pirate. 

See more funny tee shirts in my other hubs: 

Gift Ideas- Funny Tee Shirts from Wireless

Gift Ideas- Funny Tee Shirts from The Lighter Side Catalog

Gift Ideas- Funny Tee Shirts from What on Earth Catalog